I realised today, its prime time I get back to blogging. This is going to have to turn into an "Ashleigh" blog and not "Ashleigh in Los Angeles" blog, because I am headed back to the land of Milk and Honey - South Africa!
Los Angeles has settled into me (Ironic, seen as I am leaving in two short weeks). The homeless people who have a screw loose, now have nick names (like "The Spellcaster", who aims his hand at people, holding an imaginary wand, muttering spells under his breath, and Elvis, the Elvis Presley impersonator who never fails to lip sing all the most famous Elvis songs next to my trusty Bank of America ATM). I am getting used to the rough accents and attitudes of the Russian Cab drivers and most of all, I have finally accepted that South Africa is not considered a country here (I may as well say I come from Alaska!).
I've found myself losing my sense of humour when looking at Los Angeles. The City of Angeles has now become the City of Sin. Its not like I arrived here completely naive (The Wolf made sure of that!). I most definitely didn't have the common misconception that making it as a film actress was going to be easy. That was fine though, because I thought I was coming here to live my passion. Turns out a big part of this city has nothing to do with passion.
It has become quite exhausting to live here. So-called 'friendships' are more of an allegiance between two people, based on the concept of "I'll do that for you, if you can do something for me." I have however, been lucky enough to make some really great friends who were there for me
throughout my stay here and I will always be thankful for them and how happy they made me while here. But unfortunately, these kind of people exist in the minority here, and I find myself managing the majority of people with complete exhaustion. Its become a tiring game of figuring out exactly what this person wants from you. I always want to think the best of people, but it turns out 99.9% of the people here want exactly what you hoped they didn't.
Talk about "The Big, Bad, World". No better way to learn that people are never what you expect them to be, than to arrive in LA with high hopes and great expectations of the human race and then see it for exactly what it is. Unfortunately we just don't live in a world that works like that and I am glad I realized that now.
But you know what is so inspiring: is that despite the "Big Bad World", there is this beautiful country in amongst it all, situated in the South of Africa. Where people smile, sing and love life. Yes, the politics are a bit dodgy and there's a little crime. But nothing compares to being a South African!
The 2nd highest reason for deaths in America is suicide.
I cant comprehend this because I come from a place where everywhere I look I see intense hardship, starvation, poverty, disease and yet still Africa has an intoxicating spirit. Despite all this, people will still dance and sing and celebrate life! Yet, people with every opportunity they could ask for, struggle to see what they should be grateful for! I think to live a great and positive life you have to surround yourself with the energy you seek to posses: despite all the negative aspects, I have never found a place that gives me the kind of energy and spirit to appreciate, love and live life, as what South Africa does!
Therefore, I cannot wait to get back to my South
Africa, my friends and my family!
Life has taken me on a different path. People thought LA was my "big dream" but guess what - I just dreamt bigger! ;)
Love Ash xxx
P.s. Don't lie to yourself! The picture is a great touch ;) haha. (yea, yea - typical actress! - I am currently suffering from a severe cabin fever!)
